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Hi Chiq,
im in a bad little problem at the moment, i've fall in love with
my best mates girl. But this isn't half the problem, I know she likes
me as shes told me in many words (rather descrete about it) I just want
some advice on, wether I should tell her that I want her to brake it off
with my friend, so she can finaly be with me. If I don't she will always
be feeling guilty for liking me while being with him.
Please chiq, give me some advice on what I should do next before
I make the mistake of my life.
Anon (disclosed)
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What's this? Do I smell a cop-out? You're trying to rationalise having
a stab at your mate's girlfriend with her guilt over flirting with you.
Do you really believe her feeling a bit naff for fancying a taste of her
guy's mate is a good reason to be a total bastard and utterly shaft your
friend, or are you clinging to straws?
Tip: make one hint of a move on her before she's left your mate off her
own bat and you're being what the guests on Ricky Lake call a 'dawg'.
My vocabulary is much more local: scumsucking, shiteating, worthless...get
the picture?
And to the girl: Stop playing games with the minds of your menfolk little
girl. It'll come back to haunt you.
Finally, to the mate whose 'nearest and dearest' are casting covetous
eyes at one another: Flee!!!
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Dear chiQ,
For some time now, I have had a cow under my care. At first this was
fine. she helped out as a mascot for our clan, and had a good time. Everyone
got along with her, and things were good.
Although she's growing up fast, and lately things have started to
change. She's normally very well behaved while she's at home with me.
She helps out with cooking and cleaning, and even fills in for me at work
when I want to slack off and read a certain website. When she goes out
to LANs though, she seems to do anything to attract attention to herself.
She starts fights, spams email addresses, invades Taihape, attacks Malks
(not necessarily bad though), and generally seems bent on evil and world
domination.
She changed when she was kidnapped last year. When she escaped, and
returned to me, it was clear that her mind had been tampered with in ways
that I cannot begin to imagine.
I have contemplated hooking her brain into a network of other cows,
and using their combined mental electricity to power a decently over clocked
PC. Someone said that doing that would seem a little derivative though.
I have tried explaining to her that world domination has been overdone
and was cliché even way back when Sean Connery was 007, but she doesn't
care, or even want to talk about it.
What can I do?
Sincerely - concerned |o-bot|
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Gee, Missy warned me about people like you...
Missy has made it quite clear that she will consider any empathy towards
her dissenters on my part to be an act of war and Missy owns me, so NYAH!
Oh and she says you should be grateful that's she's working towards a
MALK-free world. She's
got a gun and she's not taking any shit from anyone, be they ever so cute.
I gather this is because she thinks she's cuter. She says that if you
can't wrap your silly cannonfodder brain around the masterplan she's fully
justified in treating you like a free taxi...and she wants more chocolate
buttons. You definitely don't give her enough chocolate buttons.
...
She's hung up now. She seemed pretty miffed and said that the mere fact
that you'd even consider coming to a half-baked blonde quack like...hey!
Wait a minute! Can I please have Missy's cell phone number?
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Dear ChiQ
How do I become leet?
Anon (disclosed)
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Have a frontal labotomy performed by a three year old with
a rusty spoon. |
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hahaahaahaha funny
so what better TNT2 Voodoo3 ?
i know GF2 owns all
ohh Levin rocks all :P
thanks
Levin's Only *real* gamer
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Hey Stud,
Yeah Levin's the shit, fer sher...Billy-Bob Sammy-Joe Cletus.
I don't know, let me see, pretty good performance relative to it's peers
& 32bit colour support Vs. pure grunt & no quality or 32bit colour...
Go for the GeForce MX32.
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Dear ChiQ,
I seem to be in a bit of a pickle, the previous night i was able to
actually frag someone at q3 (yes kill someone successfully), yet this
morning (2/12/00) all my skill is completely gone, and i lost to bring
it on klesk (boy am i going to regret saying that :D) maybe i have some
disease that you get when you play too much quake? please heed to my call,
as i have a 1v1 against wolf tonight and someone (STATIK) seems to think
i can win. I dont want to let statik down otherwise he will call me a
snu.
Yours Truly,
Nuclear
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SNU!!!
No really, you're a snu. You're suffering from nothing but being a normal
human being. Rigid [ehe she said rigid ehe] consistency is a total
fallacy. I've yet to see a player that doesn't have off-days. You will
have played the fateful game by now, and at a guess you did fine. See?
You're a snu.
If I were you I'd be more concerned with the feelings Klesk provokes...
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Dear chiQ
I've been trying to perfect the *wuffle™* technique. I've tried
everything I can think of, from mollusc to goat, but all I get is this
nasty rash...
what am I doing wrong?
Anon (disclosed)
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Um, I have a feeling you're not DOING IT RIGHT, or to the right
things :Þ
I prescribe a course of cortisone and a series of comprehensive wuffle™
tutorials from the inventor of the wuffle™.
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